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        婆媳问题
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        <span class="p-name" itemprop="name">Qian Yi</span>
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    <p>结婚后，我的老妈和老婆她们顺理成章成了<code>婆媳关系</code>。</p>
<p>在小孩出生后，老妈过来帮我们带小孩，同在一个屋檐下生活，慢慢发酵不出意料的产生了<code>婆媳问题</code>。</p>
<p>总结了下主要以下几点原因：</p>
<h2 id="问题起因"><a href="#问题起因" class="headerlink" title="问题起因"></a>问题起因</h2><h3 id="角色和权利"><a href="#角色和权利" class="headerlink" title="角色和权利"></a>角色和权利</h3><blockquote>
<p>多年媳妇熬成婆</p>
</blockquote>
<p>妈妈以前和奶奶生活在一起，作为老一代的传统农村家庭，婆婆掌握着家庭的大权，可以分配发令家中各种事物，可想当年受到的待遇。</p>
<p>如今多年媳妇熬成婆，女主人翁意识崛起。</p>
<p>前期的话，<code>婆媳</code>两方在家庭事务上实加控制，干涉，引发了不少冲突。</p>
<p>后面我在多次沟通下，达成了一些共识。</p>
<p>我和老婆是小家庭，她和爸爸是家庭，现在是两个家庭了。</p>
<p>她来带娃，是在帮我们，当然我们是一个大家庭。</p>
<p>明确下角色和定位。</p>
<h3 id="文化和育儿观"><a href="#文化和育儿观" class="headerlink" title="文化和育儿观"></a>文化和育儿观</h3><p>老婆对小孩是照着教科书去养，在此投入的时间精力是让人敬佩。</p>
<p>那其中的育儿观念跟上一代人养发是天翻地覆。从一日三餐到睡觉，都是各种的观念不一样。</p>
<blockquote>
<p>我按这个方式养了两个儿子，你看他们都好好的呀？会有什么问题呢？</p>
</blockquote>
<p>育儿思维及观念上的巨大不一致，有时候难以去沟通和说服。</p>
<h3 id="性格"><a href="#性格" class="headerlink" title="性格"></a>性格</h3><p>两方开始都强势，一方得理不饶人，一方我吃的盐比你吃的饭还多。</p>
<p>气氛紧张。</p>
<blockquote>
<p> 怎么办？</p>
</blockquote>
<p>当然最好的方式是从距离上隔离开，不过目前各方面条件不允许。我认为首先要确定几个基本的事实和原则。</p>
<h2 id="如何改善"><a href="#如何改善" class="headerlink" title="如何改善"></a>如何改善</h2><h3 id="感恩之心"><a href="#感恩之心" class="headerlink" title="感恩之心"></a>感恩之心</h3><p>老妈过来帮我们带娃，这个首先是要抱感恩之心。</p>
<p>她为这个小家庭做的每一件事，都不是她应该做的。不要认为此是理所当然。</p>
<p>自己作为重要的<code>桥梁</code>环节，多上点心，主动承担一些育儿及力所能及的家务事。</p>
<h3 id="权责合一"><a href="#权责合一" class="headerlink" title="权责合一"></a>权责合一</h3><p>大方向的养育原则都是以老婆为主，科学养育毕竟是我们应该去做的。</p>
<p>抓大放小。小方向需要给于一定的处理权利，在不影响安全相关的，即使不科学，没必要苛刻。毕竟精力都有限，生活是需要一些智慧的。</p>
<h3 id="尊重和沟通"><a href="#尊重和沟通" class="headerlink" title="尊重和沟通"></a>尊重和沟通</h3><p>有分歧，需找共同的交集。求同存异，寻求妥协。</p>
<h2 id="展望"><a href="#展望" class="headerlink" title="展望"></a>展望</h2><p>娃九月份要上幼儿园了，后面白天在幼儿园会改善很多，希望最难的时候已经过去。先记这么些，回头在补充。</p>

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